Why I Am Here Testimony - 1727 Words

Oriana Pyavka Why I’m here: Testimony Coming into bible school I was in a very confused and vulnerable place in my life. I felt no love towards nor from the people that surrounded and deep down I knew that loved me. But most of all I felt no love from nor towards the one whom I should have been loving the most. My heart did not fully belong towards the one who created it. I thought that reading the bible, attending church, and avoiding big sins was good enough. The reason I wasn t satisfied by Christianity is because it wasn t Christianity. I had religion, but I didn t have Jesus. I knew what love was, but not the God who is love. Growing up I was told and taught to fear God but not in the way I should have. I was so†¦show more content†¦I think that many of us have fallen and sinned so much and so often that the whole system of salvation and grace doesn t really make sense. I mean how is it possible to recover from all the years of disobedience and thousands of sins made? The prob lem with me was that I couldn t fully comprehend that the term salvation and forgiveness was actually created and meant for sinners like myself. I couldn t understand the fact that I qualify for mercy. I couldn t understand that what I need, I couldn t possibly do anything to deserve it. I didn t believe that someone as great as God would ever look down on me and love me. I didn t think I was or could ever be worthy of such a love. One of my favorite quotes was once said by Thomas Watson â€Å"Jesus Christ went more willingly to the cross than we do to the throne of grace.† Every time I denied Gods love and forgiveness I was basically telling Jesus that what He did for me wasn t enough. The pain He went through and the blood that He shed for me on the cross wasn t enough. I was so stubborn and arrogant thinking that if only I do this and this right, if only I say this and this right, then maybe I could earn God s love. I couldn t comprehend that the type of love I